By Dashboard Confessional
Down in a local bar out on the Boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you from sinking
It's a long way down, it's a long way
Back like you never broke, you tell a dirty joke
He touches your leg and thinks he's getting close
For now you let him
Just this once, just for now, and just like that it's over
Don't turn away, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid, but keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard for the Belle of the Boulevard
In all your silver rings, in all your silken things
That song you softly sing
Is keeping you from breaking
It's a long way down, it's a long way
Back here you never lost, you shake the shivers off
You take a drink to get your courage up
Can you believe it?
Just this once, just for now, and just like that it's over
Don't turn away, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid, oh keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard for the Belle of the Boulevard
Please hold on, it's alright
Please hold on, it's alright
Please hold on
Down in a local bar out on the boulevard
The sound of an old guitar
Is saving you
Don't turn away, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid, but keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart, dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard, let me dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't turn turn away
Let me dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Don't be afraid, but keep it all inside, all inside
When you fall apart, let me dry your eyes, dry your eyes
Life is always hard for the Belle of the Boulevard
Sunday, January 31, 2010
Sunday, January 17, 2010
Genting trip
Came back yesterday from Genting with my darling LCM, the lame emobear and my valentine pey ying. Had tremendous fun up there,playing theme park and drinking in our hotel.
As for theme park,we only managed to play 3 hours as checking in was taking forever as the chip on my IC is not working properly as it should,or else I can use the kiosk to check in ): .Oh well what to expect?I own a Malaysian IC.But 3 hours were good enough for us already.We had 2 rounds of space shot and 1 round of corkscrew.Loving both of these games!And we have some other games too but I just can't recall any for now.However, darling and emobear were very tempted to go onto the merry-go-round!But the both of them were shy shy XD
After that..We got back to our hotel rooms to rest awhile while waiting for my dear Danny to off work.We've got ourselves 2 deluxe rooms..And they were linked together like literally!There were doors in the middle,and we just need to unlock it and leave it open!Like so cool can?And it was so fated..Our rooms were 1 queen size bed and another one with two single beds..So darling chose the one with the queen size bed...It's so fated that darling and emobear have to sleep together!But at the end me and valentine switched with darling and emobear la XD
After that,the 5 of us went down to Gohtong Jaya there to have our dinner.The food was awesome,all thanks to darling because he drove us down there and he ordered all the dishes.After dinner,we went to 7-11 to grab some chips and soft drink.We got 2 bottles of pepsi.After first round of drinking in some pub in Genting,all of us headed up to our rooms to begin the ultimate drinking session!
At first we play some dice game and it got boring after awhile,so we switch to chor dai dee instead.Since there were the five of us,4 of them get to play first and the one who got most cards have to leave the game and let the other person in.The worse part is whoever that got 8 cards or more,have to drink double and if 13 cards,ggfied la.I think all of us got a bit drunk as the bottle only left quarter of liquor.But we sober up after a round of McD at 3.30am!
I slept at 4 and woke up at 8.30.Wanted to pass the bottle back to Danny but only I found out he cannot bring it to office.After that met darling and emobear at our hotel's cafeteria to have breakfast and I had kokokrunch with milk for breakfast!Awesomeness!
We check out about 11am and after that we drove out,park darling's car outside and we went for a short walk.It was really cold and foggy,but I was loving it!
Thank you people for the short getaway!I really enjoyed myself! <3 yo'al
As for theme park,we only managed to play 3 hours as checking in was taking forever as the chip on my IC is not working properly as it should,or else I can use the kiosk to check in ): .Oh well what to expect?I own a Malaysian IC.But 3 hours were good enough for us already.We had 2 rounds of space shot and 1 round of corkscrew.Loving both of these games!And we have some other games too but I just can't recall any for now.However, darling and emobear were very tempted to go onto the merry-go-round!But the both of them were shy shy XD
After that..We got back to our hotel rooms to rest awhile while waiting for my dear Danny to off work.We've got ourselves 2 deluxe rooms..And they were linked together like literally!There were doors in the middle,and we just need to unlock it and leave it open!Like so cool can?And it was so fated..Our rooms were 1 queen size bed and another one with two single beds..So darling chose the one with the queen size bed...It's so fated that darling and emobear have to sleep together!But at the end me and valentine switched with darling and emobear la XD
After that,the 5 of us went down to Gohtong Jaya there to have our dinner.The food was awesome,all thanks to darling because he drove us down there and he ordered all the dishes.After dinner,we went to 7-11 to grab some chips and soft drink.We got 2 bottles of pepsi.After first round of drinking in some pub in Genting,all of us headed up to our rooms to begin the ultimate drinking session!
At first we play some dice game and it got boring after awhile,so we switch to chor dai dee instead.Since there were the five of us,4 of them get to play first and the one who got most cards have to leave the game and let the other person in.The worse part is whoever that got 8 cards or more,have to drink double and if 13 cards,ggfied la.I think all of us got a bit drunk as the bottle only left quarter of liquor.But we sober up after a round of McD at 3.30am!
I slept at 4 and woke up at 8.30.Wanted to pass the bottle back to Danny but only I found out he cannot bring it to office.After that met darling and emobear at our hotel's cafeteria to have breakfast and I had kokokrunch with milk for breakfast!Awesomeness!
We check out about 11am and after that we drove out,park darling's car outside and we went for a short walk.It was really cold and foggy,but I was loving it!
Thank you people for the short getaway!I really enjoyed myself! <3 yo'al
Wednesday, January 6, 2010
P.S.I love you
This is gonna be my second entry on P.S.I love you!I can't believe that I get to watch that again on Star movies.Like...Wow!Although...I'm still standing on my point where I think the book is still better than the movie...But second time watching it made me cry again.It's not as bad when I read the book but it still made me cry for second time.
And I especially love a quote from the movie which is not in the book.
-We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.
Yes it's right...So right to the point.So many women out there are afraid of getting old,afraid of the effects of aging,they'd do anything and everything at all to prevent it.Botox, plastic surgeries and what not just to make themselves look young and pretty.But what happen to the other half?Does he mind about it?The ultimate goal of marriage is to be together with someone you love dearly and grow old together.In the traditional Chinese wedding vow,it says that regardless of alive,old,sickness and death, till death do us part or something like that.Other vows also mention more or less the same thing,to offer unconditional love,to cherish and honor one another regardless of sickness,for better or worse and for richer or poorer.This is the meaning of a marriage.
Yes...I guess most of us have forgotten what a privilege it is to grow old with someone we love dearly.The process of finding the right one is already difficult enough,and yet we, as human still have the old habit of taking things for granted.People have forgotten why they got married at the first place,they have forgotten the vows they made during the wedding ceremony.It's supposed to be sacred and once you make that vow,you should commit to it.Till death do us part.
Another dialogue from the movie
-When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said... never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then, and then he died! What was the point? I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean you're alone no matter what.
In the movie,she found the right one.But he died young.They would've grow old together if they could.People just doesn't cherish and appreciate what they have until they've lost it.We know it but how many of us truly cherish what we have?
And I especially love a quote from the movie which is not in the book.
-We're so arrogant, aren't we? So afraid of age, we do everything we can to prevent it. We don't realize what a privilege it is to grow old with someone. Someone who doesn't drive you to commit murder or doesn't humiliate you beyond repair.
Yes it's right...So right to the point.So many women out there are afraid of getting old,afraid of the effects of aging,they'd do anything and everything at all to prevent it.Botox, plastic surgeries and what not just to make themselves look young and pretty.But what happen to the other half?Does he mind about it?The ultimate goal of marriage is to be together with someone you love dearly and grow old together.In the traditional Chinese wedding vow,it says that regardless of alive,old,sickness and death, till death do us part or something like that.Other vows also mention more or less the same thing,to offer unconditional love,to cherish and honor one another regardless of sickness,for better or worse and for richer or poorer.This is the meaning of a marriage.
Yes...I guess most of us have forgotten what a privilege it is to grow old with someone we love dearly.The process of finding the right one is already difficult enough,and yet we, as human still have the old habit of taking things for granted.People have forgotten why they got married at the first place,they have forgotten the vows they made during the wedding ceremony.It's supposed to be sacred and once you make that vow,you should commit to it.Till death do us part.
Another dialogue from the movie
-When daddy left, I was fourteen, and I said... never again, no man. And then I meet Gerry. This wonderful man happens to me and then, and then, and then he died! What was the point? I'm so angry I could kill somebody. I'm alone, and it doesn't matter what job I have or what I do or what I don't do or what friends I have, he's not here. I mean you're alone no matter what.
In the movie,she found the right one.But he died young.They would've grow old together if they could.People just doesn't cherish and appreciate what they have until they've lost it.We know it but how many of us truly cherish what we have?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
Change
I've been a people-pleaser for 22 years.Practically my entire life I've been a people-pleaser.I knew that myself and I wanted to change that since I was 16.But I've never been successful because I was too soft-hearted and I cared too much for people,for how they feel and how would they think of me for every single action I take or every single word that comes out from my mouth.I simply cared too much for people around me until last year,Lynn invaded my life.I can't say that she's my best friend but she's a very good & close friend, and definitely a huge influence at this stage in my life.Since she came into my life,I changed a lot and a lot of you couldn't take it.Some of you still misses the old fione where she cares about everyone and everything under the sun and the one who dedicates every bit of her energy to care about you, talk to you, and be there for you.
No,I am no longer that fione you used to know.I was so careful with everything I do to the extend where I can never please myself.There are so many things that I wanted to do or I wanted in my life but I've let them go because I care about how people will feel about me doing it or having it.When I was in a relationship,I cared too much about how he feels about some clothing to the extend where I didn't buy a lot of them because I was afraid he wouldn't like it.Everything I want to buy I'd have him see it first and ask for his opinion before I eventually buy it.
I've always been somebody else for you guys.I've never been able to be myself.Never.And I'm very tired and sick of it.For countless times where I keep questioning myself,why am I so weak?Why can't I stop caring?Why do I even feel bad and most times,feeling guilty when I do things slightly my way?Why just can't I be selfish for myself for just this once?I keep questioning myself if I was wrong for doing things my way.It's such a torment.
I'm tired.I am really tired being so self-conscious,mind about how other looks at me and how other thinks of me,and hate myself for being a person where I put others' welfare before my own.Lynn's right.At the end of the day,who will even think that "oh,fione's been treating me so good and I should treat her back that way too".Hardly any will treat me back the way I treat them.I've learned my lessons throughout the years but still I get hurt over and over again from the very same mistake.
Someday.Someday I will eventually find someone that takes me for who I am.I'm not saying that I will completely stop caring,but I just want to learn to be a little bit more selfish for myself.I just want to be able to make myself happy.I just need to stop thinking that it is alright to sacrifice my own welfare for others just to see them happy,or being able to see the smile on their face is worth everything.I just want to make myself happy.Am I asking for something that is impossible for me to have it?
I just want to be happy.That's all I want.I'm sorry if this change has brought pain to any of you out there.But I'm 24 and I never been really happy before.It's about time for me to please myself,make myself happy before I am out there,helping and making others happy.
No,I am no longer that fione you used to know.I was so careful with everything I do to the extend where I can never please myself.There are so many things that I wanted to do or I wanted in my life but I've let them go because I care about how people will feel about me doing it or having it.When I was in a relationship,I cared too much about how he feels about some clothing to the extend where I didn't buy a lot of them because I was afraid he wouldn't like it.Everything I want to buy I'd have him see it first and ask for his opinion before I eventually buy it.
I've always been somebody else for you guys.I've never been able to be myself.Never.And I'm very tired and sick of it.For countless times where I keep questioning myself,why am I so weak?Why can't I stop caring?Why do I even feel bad and most times,feeling guilty when I do things slightly my way?Why just can't I be selfish for myself for just this once?I keep questioning myself if I was wrong for doing things my way.It's such a torment.
I'm tired.I am really tired being so self-conscious,mind about how other looks at me and how other thinks of me,and hate myself for being a person where I put others' welfare before my own.Lynn's right.At the end of the day,who will even think that "oh,fione's been treating me so good and I should treat her back that way too".Hardly any will treat me back the way I treat them.I've learned my lessons throughout the years but still I get hurt over and over again from the very same mistake.
Someday.Someday I will eventually find someone that takes me for who I am.I'm not saying that I will completely stop caring,but I just want to learn to be a little bit more selfish for myself.I just want to be able to make myself happy.I just need to stop thinking that it is alright to sacrifice my own welfare for others just to see them happy,or being able to see the smile on their face is worth everything.I just want to make myself happy.Am I asking for something that is impossible for me to have it?
I just want to be happy.That's all I want.I'm sorry if this change has brought pain to any of you out there.But I'm 24 and I never been really happy before.It's about time for me to please myself,make myself happy before I am out there,helping and making others happy.
Monday, January 4, 2010
Goodbye,ginger bread man
Still recall my first ever gift for him was 3 years ago,which I purchased it from a bakery.I was still working part-time in KLCC and I got it right after my shift ended.The queue was long and the gift I wanted was running out fast but in the end,I got it still.And the girl was kind enough to offer me to write something on it.
that's the first thing I ever got him as Christmas gift 3 years ago.Truth to be told, I never buy that kind of gift before also.Still remember we ate it together on our anniversary, where I decided to overnight at his place after the countdown and fireworks and whatnot.That's when I changed my own life.I had him in my life as the closest person to my heart.Well,things changed.Now,I no longer have him in my life.He's spending his Christmas with someone else who he have on his heart,the place in his heart where I used to be.
The saddest part for me is losing a close friend.He said that we can still be friends.But his action says it all.No greetings for Christmas and New year from him at all.
This year,it felt like a dejavu to me again.I bought him the same gift I got him three years ago after my shift ended working with World vision.I was stupid enough to still held the hope of eating it with him.But this year,this gift will never be delivered.Instead it will be going into a rubbish bin after I blog about this.And this will be the last time I ever buy this as a gift again.This gift really remind me a lot of him,and our time we had together.
However,I am gonna stop living in my past memories.I am going to throw this undelivered gift away.And yes I will.
The one I got for him in 2006's Christmas. See what I wrote on it.
The one I got for him in 2009.The one that's undelivered.
Goodbye,ginger bread man.You'll live as part of my memories,forever.
that's the first thing I ever got him as Christmas gift 3 years ago.Truth to be told, I never buy that kind of gift before also.Still remember we ate it together on our anniversary, where I decided to overnight at his place after the countdown and fireworks and whatnot.That's when I changed my own life.I had him in my life as the closest person to my heart.Well,things changed.Now,I no longer have him in my life.He's spending his Christmas with someone else who he have on his heart,the place in his heart where I used to be.
The saddest part for me is losing a close friend.He said that we can still be friends.But his action says it all.No greetings for Christmas and New year from him at all.
This year,it felt like a dejavu to me again.I bought him the same gift I got him three years ago after my shift ended working with World vision.I was stupid enough to still held the hope of eating it with him.But this year,this gift will never be delivered.Instead it will be going into a rubbish bin after I blog about this.And this will be the last time I ever buy this as a gift again.This gift really remind me a lot of him,and our time we had together.
However,I am gonna stop living in my past memories.I am going to throw this undelivered gift away.And yes I will.
The one I got for him in 2006's Christmas. See what I wrote on it.
The one I got for him in 2009.The one that's undelivered.
Goodbye,ginger bread man.You'll live as part of my memories,forever.
Friday, January 1, 2010
Rynn Lin ft. Sheila Majid - Melodi
This song is specially dedicated to this someone special of mine <3
So sorry that I couldn't put this song onto my blog's music playlist because it's not available ): So this is the only thing that I could do for you.
I hope you like this! :D
Kau melodi yang indah
Menusuki jiwa
Tanpamu
Hidupku tak bermakna
多么实在的感觉 望着你的脸
这一刻 我到了被人遗忘的永远
Pertemuan yang tanpa diduga
像迷路的人找到回家的路线
Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama
Bersatu kita mewarnai hidup bersama
Tanpamu hilanglah nadi kita berdua
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
Kau melodi yang indah
Menusuki jiwa
Tanpamu
Hidupku tak bermakna
多么实在的感觉 望着你的脸
这一刻 我到了被人遗忘的永远
Pertemuan yang tanpa diduga
像迷路的人找到回家的路线
Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama
Bersatu kita mewarnai hidup bersama
Tanpamu hilanglah nadi kita berdua
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama
Bersatu kita mewarnai hidup bersama
Tanpamu hilanglah nadi kita berdua
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
So sorry that I couldn't put this song onto my blog's music playlist because it's not available ): So this is the only thing that I could do for you.
I hope you like this! :D
Kau melodi yang indah
Menusuki jiwa
Tanpamu
Hidupku tak bermakna
多么实在的感觉 望着你的脸
这一刻 我到了被人遗忘的永远
Pertemuan yang tanpa diduga
像迷路的人找到回家的路线
Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama
Bersatu kita mewarnai hidup bersama
Tanpamu hilanglah nadi kita berdua
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
Kau melodi yang indah
Menusuki jiwa
Tanpamu
Hidupku tak bermakna
多么实在的感觉 望着你的脸
这一刻 我到了被人遗忘的永远
Pertemuan yang tanpa diduga
像迷路的人找到回家的路线
Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama
Bersatu kita mewarnai hidup bersama
Tanpamu hilanglah nadi kita berdua
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
Engkau bak lagu dan aku bagai irama
Bersatu kita mewarnai hidup bersama
Tanpamu hilanglah nadi kita berdua
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
Menderita tiada haluan
窝在握心里最动听的melodi
New year's resolution
1)Make my current saving to 10k
2)Must graduate by end of this year
3)lose 10 KG! wah a bit the hard right this 1.
4)Never repeat the same stupid mistake ever again.
5)Move on for betterment of life
6)Build good relationship with my friends
*7)Get an LV bag* (optional,can either buy myself or get someone to buy /gg)
I guess this will be all for now.Can never be too greedy in life (:
2)Must graduate by end of this year
3)lose 10 KG! wah a bit the hard right this 1.
4)Never repeat the same stupid mistake ever again.
5)Move on for betterment of life
6)Build good relationship with my friends
*7)Get an LV bag* (optional,can either buy myself or get someone to buy /gg)
I guess this will be all for now.Can never be too greedy in life (:
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