This is going to be another emo entry,summarizing of how I feel in this month.When he told me he had gotten into another relationship,I got beaten down to hell.But I am slowly getting my way up,with help,love and care from a lot of my beloved friends.For this once I really have to name names.My best friends,Icey,Jian, Marianna; Lynn, Gene,JC,Reychel,Jun Kit,Agnes,Munzillah and let's not forget the one I'm having a relationship with right now,Mr Gabbyemonana LCM.You all have been here for me this whole month.Pull me through my exams and now,pulling me through to get out of this shit.Whenever I burst into a emo crying moment,I get an instant reply and some of you are even better,talk to me and hear me cry for hours,and keep checking in for me.

I was wondering how would my Christmas and New Year be without him,and 1/1 is supposed to be our anniversary.Thank you love bunch,I had an awesome Christmas by just sitting in La bodega,talking and playing games with you all.I can have a simple yet awesome Christmas as long as you are all here with me,and thank you guys for making my Christmas so wonderful.

I didn't realize how many good friends I have with me and it was a huge mistake.Was.I am never going to repeat the same dumb mistake again.I've been out lepaking with different bunch of friends and I really thank you all for keeping me occupied and analyzing things for me.I couldn't have realize these things without your words,and I may be still stuck in an illusion that I created for myself.

Like Jun kit said..I've shed more than enough tears for him.He doesn't worth it.So yes,I am going to stop crying for him.

Yes I've been down.I have my low self-esteem moments.I wonder why things didn't work out and are they my fault.I self-examine and it caused me to be sad even more because I thought I was no good at all.But I promise I'm through these shits.I know what I'm worth.Even though I am not perfect,but someday somewhere I will bound to find someone that truly appreciates me,love me and take me for who I am.

Here are few songs that i kept repeating it to myself this month. Aqua - turn back time > Gareth Gates - too serious too soon > Raymond Lam - some fong sau song and now, I am ending this with Taylor Swift - White Horse and pay attention to the bolded sentences

Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake, I didn't wanna be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know

[Chorus]
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around

And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm sooo sorry

Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse, to catch me now

Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now